“sometimes it takes an entire day to catch it
i’ll sit in the same spot waiting
for any being-or thing
to take me to where i’m not sure i’m trying to go
but as it finds me,
i become aware that the part of me responsible for motivation
was hunting it
trapped it in a yellow-green pasture
and corralled it to my fingers
upon the very sight of this—
thing
i feel such release.
my toes wriggle
and joint by joint I am able to move
fingertips—elbows—shoulders
minutes later i’m walking
a few more and i’m creating
and when that’s all well and done
I am permitted by self to return to
normal human functionality
task, finish
task, finish
task, finish
blue sheets put the town to bed
i wake up the next morning
unable to move
mama doesn’t get it
and hers can’t help mine
so I sit—
waiting”
Madison White
December, 2009
“Nothing plagues an adventurer’s heart quite like stability.”
Madison White
February, 2011
“It’s only an excuse if you’re wrong. Don’t make excuses if you’re not. Stand on your decisions and allow yourself to be and become who you need you to be. If you have to spend all the money in your pockets, do it. What power it holds over others does not need to govern you. If you need to tattoo parts of your heart on your outsides from scalp to heel, so be it. People will always want what defines them to define you, and if you let them, it will. But there are parts of you that will be masked and go missing. Fight for them, chase after them, snatch them back and chain yourself back together, or lose entirely. It’s a daily chase, and I can’t say I’m always running. Sometime my fists are behind my back. But I know I’m the one who allowed them to be tied, and I know I’ll be the one to break me free. It’ll take a lifetime to win, but in the end, I’m going to die with all of my soul right there beside me. Bury me, Burn me, whatever, but it’ll be all of me. For better or worse.”
Madison White
February, 2011
