Photobucket

permalink

The Middle East - Blood

older brother, restless soul, lie down

lie for a while with your ear against the earth
and you’ll hear your sister sleep talking
say “your hair is long but not long enough to reach
home to me
but your beard
someday might be”

and she’ll wake up in a cold sweat on the floor
next to a family portrait drawn when you were four
and beside a jar of two cent coins that are no good no more
she’ll lay it aside

older father, weary soul, you’ll drive
back to the home you made on the mountainside
with that ugly, terrible thing
those papers for divorce
and a lonely ring
a lonely ring
sit on your porch
and pluck your strings

and you’ll find somebody you can blame
and you’ll follow the creek that runs out into the sea
and you’ll find the peace of the Lord.

grandfather, gentle soul, you’ll fly
over your life once more before you die
since our grandma passed away
you’ve waited for forever and a day
just to die
and someday soon
you will die

it was the only woman you ever loved
that got burnt by the sun too often when she was young
and the cancer spread and it ran into her body and her blood
and there’s nothing you can do about it now

permalink

congrats surfer blood.

surfer blood is a band from my hometown, and i actually went to school with one of the band members.

permalink halloween is probably one of my favorite holidays along with thanks giving.
i love fall.

halloween is probably one of my favorite holidays along with thanks giving.

i love fall.

permalink i’m a deer.

i’m a deer.

permalink
permalink
permalink
permalink my tongue used to writelove notes on theroof of your mouth. yougot shot with novocainand couldn’t feel a singlestatement i was sweepingacross your skin on the day ipulled down your lowerlip with my thumb andlet our taste buds acquaint,allowed our tonsils to reach towardseach other the way you’dimagine someonefalling off a cliffwould reach for whoever they’dleft behindthere are still bicycles flyingpast my face, grazing my eyelashes, freckling my skin with bar fight scars.beauty knows no forgiveness as you list your grievous complaints, you never meant to drownme in the bathtubit just happened and nowthere are ghosts gettingstuck in yourhair gelbe wellbe gonebe easybecausethe easiest way to ache forthe best in each otheris to bring out the worstso this once, let us miss what we will learn to live without

-amiee noelle gabbard

my tongue used to write
love notes on the
roof of your mouth. you
got shot with novocain
and couldn’t feel a single
statement i was sweeping
across your skin on the day i
pulled down your lower
lip with my thumb and
let our taste buds acquaint,
allowed our tonsils to reach towards
each other the way you’d
imagine someone
falling off a cliff
would reach for whoever they’d
left behind


there are still bicycles flying
past my face, grazing my 
eyelashes, freckling my 
skin with bar fight scars.
beauty knows no forgiveness 
as you list your grievous complaints, 
you never meant to drown
me in the bathtub
it just happened and now
there are ghosts getting
stuck in your
hair gel


be well
be gone
be easy
because

the easiest way to ache for
the best in each other
is to bring out the worst






so this once, let us miss what we will learn to live without

-amiee noelle gabbard

permalink here is the first image of me as a 21 year old.
i will now be going out and filling my belly with liquor to celebrate.

here is the first image of me as a 21 year old.

i will now be going out and filling my belly with liquor to celebrate.

permalink “My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”- Charles Schulz
this is the last photo taken of as a 20 year old. i am officially 21 and i honestly don’t know how to feel about it, i can tell you i am happy.
my life has finally fallen into place.
my cousin was right when she said,
“you don’t really find yourself until you’re in college.”
she told me this when i was young, but i finally understand what she meant.
i have found a boy who treats me so well and loves me for who i am, and accepts me, i have friends that i can communicate with and know they will be around for a long time.
i finally have found that connection i’ve been missing with my photography. i am finally able to to look at an image and fall deeply in love with it and be proud that i took that picture. my passion for photography is growing everyday and ideas keep coming to me.
this year will be a good one. i will have no expectations, but i will take as many risk as possible, travel as much as possible, love as much as possible.
i am living the seaweed life.
The Lovely Sparrows - Year of the Dog(click me)

“My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”

- Charles Schulz

this is the last photo taken of as a 20 year old. i am officially 21 and i honestly don’t know how to feel about it, i can tell you i am happy.

my life has finally fallen into place.

my cousin was right when she said,

“you don’t really find yourself until you’re in college.”

she told me this when i was young, but i finally understand what she meant.

i have found a boy who treats me so well and loves me for who i am, and accepts me, i have friends that i can communicate with and know they will be around for a long time.

i finally have found that connection i’ve been missing with my photography. i am finally able to to look at an image and fall deeply in love with it and be proud that i took that picture. my passion for photography is growing everyday and ideas keep coming to me.

this year will be a good one. i will have no expectations, but i will take as many risk as possible, travel as much as possible, love as much as possible.

i am living the seaweed life.

The Lovely Sparrows - Year of the Dog(click me)

permalink Nothing Gets Crossed Out 
Recently I have been feeling a little off.I hate not doing anything… I feel like a part of me is missing.I want to go on a adventure.I had a dream I was all alone, that no one wanted me,but I woke up to a face I don’t think I could get tired of,and he kissed me gently on the lips, as if he was reassuring me everything was okay.he was the only thing that made me happy today.he gave me a dandelion today when I walked out of classand placed it in my hair.I need to do something.I don’t know what,but I’ll figure it out.This song has been stuck in my head all day:Well, the future has got me worried, such awful thoughts. My head is a carousel of pictures. The spinning never stops. I just want someone to walk in front and I’ll follow the leader. Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush. I started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs. I almost forgot who I was, but came to my senses. Now I’m trying to be assertive. I’m making plans. I want to rise to the occasion, yeah, meet all of their demands. But all I do is just lay in bed and hide under the covers. Yeah, I know I should be brave but I’m just too afraid of all this change.And it’s hard to focus through all this doubt. I keep making this “To Do” list but nothing gets crossed out. Working on the record seems pointless now. When the world ends, who’s gonna hear it? Well I’m trying to take some comfort in written words, yeah, Tim I heard your album and it’s better than good. When you get off tour I think we should hang and black out together. Because I’ve been feeling sentimental for days gone by… all those summers singing, drinking, laughing, wasting out time. Remember all those songs and the way we smiled in those basements made of music?But now I’ve got to crawl to get anywhere at all. I’m not as strong as I thought. So when I’m lost in a crowd, I hope that you’ll pick me out. Oh, how I, I long to be found. The grass grew high. I laid down. Now, I wait for a hand to lift me up, help me stand. I’ve been laying so low don’t wanna lay here no more. Don’t wanna lay here no more.Don’t wanna lay here no more.Don’t wanna lay here no more.No more… more… 

Nothing Gets Crossed Out 

Recently I have been feeling a little off.
I hate not doing anything… 
I feel like a part of me is missing.
I want to go on a adventure.

I had a dream I was all alone, that no one wanted me,
but I woke up to a face I don’t think I could get tired of,
and he kissed me gently on the lips, 
as if he was reassuring me everything was okay.
he was the only thing that made me happy today.
he gave me a dandelion today when I walked out of class
and placed it in my hair.

I need to do something.
I don’t know what,
but I’ll figure it out.

This song has been stuck in my head all day:

Well, the future has got me worried, such awful thoughts. My head is a carousel of pictures. The spinning never stops. I just want someone to walk in front and I’ll follow the leader. 
Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush. I started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs. I almost forgot who I was, but came to my senses. 
Now I’m trying to be assertive. I’m making plans. I want to rise to the occasion, yeah, meet all of their demands. But all I do is just lay in bed and hide under the covers. 
Yeah, I know I should be brave but I’m just too afraid of all this change.
And it’s hard to focus through all this doubt. I keep making this “To Do” list but nothing gets crossed out. Working on the record seems pointless now. When the world ends, who’s gonna hear it? Well I’m trying to take some comfort in written words, yeah, Tim I heard your album and it’s better than good. When you get off tour I think we should hang and black out together. 
Because I’ve been feeling sentimental for days gone by… all those summers singing, drinking, laughing, wasting out time. Remember all those songs and the way we smiled in those basements made of music?
But now I’ve got to crawl to get anywhere at all. I’m not as strong as I thought. 
So when I’m lost in a crowd, I hope that you’ll pick me out. Oh, how I, I long to be found. The grass grew high. I laid down. Now, I wait for a hand to lift me up, help me stand. I’ve been laying so low don’t wanna lay here no more. 
Don’t wanna lay here no more.
Don’t wanna lay here no more.
Don’t wanna lay here no more.
No more… more… 

permalink

[let it fall]

today was the first day in a long time i got to sit down and read charles bukowski and listen to my new love (Lesser Gonzalez Alvarez).

its like breathing fresh air.

a friend said ”all ya gotta do is go out on the sidewalk and lay down somebody will pick you up somebody will take care of you.” -charles bukowski

Courtney: “do you think…people think we are lesbians?”

Me: “hahahah yeah.”

(we both started laughing while walking out of publix.)

i want to be madly in love with the world.

p.s. i get my cat tomorrow.

permalink

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

— E.E. Cummings
permalink
I want to lie down beside the length of you simply because your earlobe is the gentlest small animal on Earth.
— Thomas Lux